OK I've a normal English Driving Licence. No Motorbike entitlement.

4 kmh S**t Box 

I only wanted a scooter. Used the famous (and out of date) Cook Islands licence to get my Nuie driving licence with Motorbike entitlement. Can't ride a bike mind. means I've hired one of the 2 scooters on the island.

Tom: Can I hire a scooter
Alofi Rentals: I dunno, I'll see if it works.

Errrrm.... I think it may have done sterling service, in the Vietnam War. Or possibly the Norman Conquest.

Yeah here's the check-list:

• Wing Mirrors - None
• Indicators - No, if you use the right one there's a sparking noise and the engine stops.
• Horn - Kaput
• Electric Start - Buggered
• Basket - Bent
• Speed Limit - N/A it don't go that fast, even with a 25kn tail wind.
• Size - Small
• Idle - runs for about 15 seconds then stops.
• Fuel Gauge - like the Bible, it gives a general idea, whilst being violently contradictory*
• Dignity when riding - None
• Accessories - iPod loaded with Vagner

* This has got worse since yesterday now says empty, or half full regardless of the actual level is.

Fun, I F**in think so! The whole island's surrounded by a limestone cliff, remember Quadraphenia? the classic 60's mod movie. I'm from Brighton I do and I wasn't even born. Only Nuie's better. Lets hope we don't repeat the Beachy Head scene, for starters the scooter's not got enough wing mirrors.

Any way enough about the scooter, I think I'm going to upgrade the Rock of Polynesia to "most Favour Island Status", when I said to a local that England was F**ked and I was intending to not go home, they said "come live here". Tempted. Sorely.

Pete of Bali Blue's response to today's emergency bludget was the same as mine capped with "last one out the country close the door" I said that's supposed to be "Last one out turn the lights out" then realised with England's obsolete power generation that'll happen anyway.

  
Anakapa Chasm (spelt wong)

The scenery is amazing (were like the second last post, talking about someone who's seen a bit more than just his home town and Southend-on-Sea). The people are all fabulous. Its dangerous cos every car, pedestrian and workman waves at you and its hard to wave back on a Brunellian scooter with a dicky front wheel without falling off.

The Great Nuie beer drought of 2010

Yesterday we finished the last beer in the Yacht Club. Rumour has it the Indian Shop had 3 left yesterday, other restaurants are out. Washaway's out the posh hotel's out. Rumour has it the Matapa Bar (open Saturday's only) has some beer left, but no ones sure.

Errrr, I think I just drank another island dry, neigh a country. Fear no reader(I think the s is optimistic), Rum, Scotch, Gin, wine etc is plentiful.

Fear not lager lovers, the next ships due in in three weeks loaded down with Steinlager.

Generator FAIL

Genset dead again, burnt out belt on the alternator, due to seized alternator. Irony. Genset's main 220 volt output is primarily used to charge the batteries, alternator to errrr, charge the start battery. I.E. we don't even friggin need it. Oh yes we do cos its the same belt as drives the water pump that cools the engine, and the tension adjust, like a car its on the alternator. Plan is to get someone to weld a pulley to a lump of metal and use that instead of the alternator.

 µ not-so-tough

Why oh why is there no lovely pic of my new driving licence in this post. My long suffering, RS600 capsized, dropped, snorkelled and fish bitten camera leaked today so I can't photograph it. Look here for its swansong.

I think its a testament to me, that the engineers have designed and refined the Olympus µ range of camera's to be water shock and generally anything proof. Leaders in the go anywhere camera  field. My lifestyle - rather than actual misuse* has killed 2 of them. I'm not proud. Or tired.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow or possibly the day after.

bugger the international date line. Rally time changes over tomorrow(Wednesday), Steve was I believe, going to go "All blue water rally Yachts, this is Island Kea you Net controller for today...I here by declare it Tomorrow(Thursday) sianara! Island Kea Out" Unfortunately enchantress who do Thursday's net sorted it out over VHF about half an our ago. We do the morning declare the change, and then they do the evening net cos then it will be Thursday.

Trouble 't mill

A boat called Enchantress (no relation to the BWR boat) was missing, there only long ranch coms is an automatic position transmission system. They changed destination and stopped at the Beverage Reef. This is a tinny horseshoe of coral in the middle of nowhere, the only bit that sticks above water is a wreck. Its very hard to find on our charts unless you know where to look. Enchantress has no engine. So people were worried. Turns out there OK, they're here. Several of our boats where trying to find them. As was a boat called tar baby, a thirty two footer. Two days ago Tar Baby's EPIRB (emergency position indicating radio beacon) went off. They've been dis-masted. They're now safe on a fishing vessel bound for Samoa. Noboby was available to tow them and it probably wasn't possible in the weather we've been having. I suspect they did the math. Old small boat, mid pacific, uninsured. Availability of mast here zero. So boat is not viable.

 * OK so apart form the fish biting it indecent, that's probably not covered by the guarantee.