Repairing dinghies, is a git. The Brighton Drinking Sailing Club Rescue Boat has had a leak for years, its right next to a joint on the rubbing strip on the side.

Instructions say, if you must have an inch of patch from the hole all round. In my experience, and I suspect every ones else's as well you never get a hole more than half an inch from a seam or fitting. Its bloody infuriating.

This one is right next to the strip that holds the handles. I suspect - and I did it properly, I used the Shampoo method, it won't work. I suspect it will end up like the SC's rescue boat. Not cured but better. I'm thinking pump once a day not every trip.

Shampoo You
By Shampoo

The "Shampoo method" may take some some explaining. As per bloody usual, there's no instructions on the tube of glue. Not a problem its like inner tube repair or contact adhesive, you cover the boat and the patch and wait a while then press them together, forever. So I decided since "a while" is a bit vague. Here's where the Shampoo (capital S is not a typo) comes in. I decided that by the time I'd smeared the glue and cleaned my fingers, the 'orrid, pre Spice Girls band's song Shampoo You, of the classic Album "We are Shampoo" was just the right amount of time to wait. You can listen to this nineties classic using the play button left (hipIplayer).

Dinghy's are a yachties best friend, and worst enemy. This is the first time since mid February I've not had to use it to go everywhere. The food for the pacific, including 17 slabs of lager, bottled water, gerry cans of fuel and water its all come aboard by dinghy. Trips snorkeling, the pub, beach BBQ's all in the dinghy. We've 2 dinghies. A soft one, with and inflatable bottom (god knows what that phrase will do when it gets into Google search) and a rib. Rigid Inflatable Boat. We've 2 outboards as well. A heavy one and a light one, actually they're about the same weight. One works and is 9.8hp, its a 2 stroke. The other is still not working, is 4hp. I hate it. its a bloody 4 stroke, EU emissions friendly piece of shit. You put it down wrong the oil falls out. It weighs a ton, its covered with stoopid safety features and its carburetor is a M.C.Esher esque nightmare of pipes nozzles and tiny little holes many of which I have prodded and poked some are still blocked. It will run if A: you give it full welly and start it with the choke. B: You run it with the choke. C: you half choke it by putting your hand over the air intake.

This outboard sunk, twice. Still ran.
The dinghy called Jesus rose from the
dead, after 3 days of repairs.
Unfortunately rather than ascend to
Heaven its sank to the depths. Frequently

I've had troubles before with outboards, there are some tricks. they are some times hard to start, hard to get to idle properly. But mostly if you've problems you take out the spark plug clean it. Take the bottom off the carburetor and get the needle valve working. If your really smart adjust the screw on the carb till it idles properly. The only reason you clean the plug is if you've put too much oil in it. Flooded it (with fuel not water). Or you've been committing the cardinal sin of 2 strokes, too much choke.

Starting a 2 stroke. Pull. Pull again, fiddle with throttle. Pull. DO NOT USE CHOKE. Pull again. Check fuel by pumping it to the carb using the bulb if it has one. Pull again. Check for whiff of petrol by now there should be one. Pull with high throttle - helps blow the excess fuel though if you've flooded it. Now if it is not starting you may engage the choke. For one pull only. If it starts, immediately release the choke and rev. If it doesn't start. Take the choke off again and do not re-choke for at least 7 more pulls. Often it will start on the pull after the choke.

Repeated pulls with the choke on will either flood it or oil up the plug or both. Making it harder to start not easier. Requiring choke is a sign to my simple mind of clogged or semi cogged jets in the carb. disassemble and clean out jets. Piece of piss on a (small) 2 stroke. Watching my father trying to start lawnmowers as a child I've always wished I'd know then what I know now. It would have made life so much easier.

Island by Island we crossed the pacific,
and with the exception Jesus things were terrific,
such an embarrassment it was to be in that craft,
with hats pulled low we pumped and laughed.

Pumping and pumping for me in a dinghy,
Pumping and singing they've all been drinking,
Pumping and bailing "oh god we're sinking",
Pumping our way across the pacific.

Extract from Roz's Poetry

For instance Jesus's outboard sank twice. Pull the spark plug out pull to pump the water out of the cylinder. Rinse. Dry and add clean petrol and start. Remember the bit about pulling the spark plug out before turning it over. Air is compressible, water is not. if its full of water turing it over will break it. Badly.

Jesus was Ornen's dinghy, it took 3 whole days to get it too rise form the dead. Unlike its namesake who ascended into heaven. This Jesus tended to descend to the depths. Frequently. Procedure was one to pump air, one to drive and one to bail the water out. Using it alone was a complex multitasking procedure.

Dinghies are personal thing. On Ramprasd on my first big trip I shared a bunk with a seahopper folding dinghy. Great idea, it was a flat pram style dinghy. Of plywood. The joints were neoprene strips. It literally unfolded like a cardboard box. It was great to row, it could sail, light winds only or the leeward shroud went slack and fell off. It was found with 2 huge rastas sat in it on land in St Lucia. There after the seams gave out and it sank. That's when I found Jesus. Thorborjn on Ornen came to our rescue, he drove I pumped.

Normally most people use some kind of inflatable. Rigid bottom's allow bigger outboards and faster. But are heavy and a bugger to store. Softer bottoms are lighter and can be collapsed, but if you put a larger outboard on them tend to fold up as your going along. An are easier to puncture. They go Psssssst bubble bubble when you hit something, rather than Crump. Neither is perfect, both usually row like a one legged dead kitten so outboards become the norm.

To store people often fit davits on the back of the boat to put the dinghy in. If you do that its often hard to go stern too on the dock or go swimming. You can't usually have a wind vane either.